What Is It With Green Smoothies Anyway?

153What is it with green smoothies these days? Have you ever seen the standup comedy act by Jim Gaffigan about kale? It’s actually really funny because it’s really true. Captain Kale, with all his super powers and his best friends Commander Chia and Acai Woman seem to be taking over the world. Watch out when they meet up with their arch nemesis Doctor Coconut Water and his band of weird nut milks!

Really though, green smoothies are one of those things that if you sit back and think about it, if you take the time to really re-evaluate your life and contemplate the universe, you’ll realize you’ve been duped. No matter how trendy green smoothies may seem, YOU ARE STILL DRINKING SALAD. C’mon, keep bok- choy, chard and kale where they belong– covered with ranch dressing! You can add them to your smoothies, but then you gotta add four cups of sugar just to mask the taste. Why not stick to good ol’ fashioned fruit smoothies made from berries and melons? There’s no shame in that. They have nutritional value, too!

And what about the actual experience of drinking a green smoothie? Again, if you stop to think about it, the colour is not the most pleasant thing to go down your throat, and actually looks more like something that comes up your throat. And then there’s that filmy feeling left on your teeth, since you just drank lettuce, and the little filaments of said lettuce that get stuck in between your teeth– not the prettiest sight ever. So for once, jump off the band wagon.  Don’t give in to the latest trends. Avoid being like the cool kids, and don’t be ashamed to drink a smoothie the way God intended them to be—the Blender Boyz way!

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